Wish for Christmas (GAM227)
Wish for Christmas is the extremely depressing and also wildly depressing story of what happens when you go from Christianity too atheism and back again. So, basically it's the life Joey Lawrence (who is in this movie, get excited): you're a wholesome child star singing on Carson, then you're on Blossom and you make money, which means you become an evil atheist (because, y'know, gainful employment equals evil atheist), then you run out of money and do terrible Christian stuff again with Melissa Joan Hart, then you become a Chippendales dancer in Vegas for a few weeks, then you make this movie, then you go bankrupt. That's his story, it's very similar. God provides… Chapter 11 protection. Type: Christmas-tacular! Opening Phrase Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because you can't physically go fuck yourself and this is the next closest thing. How Bad Was It? Well, if you loved It's a Wonderful Life, but you hated that the title didn't end ...but Just for Us, you will love this movie. If you've ever yelled "Not under my roof you won't!" though a locked bedroom door, this is the Christmas movie for you, let me tell ya. Mmmm. Best Worst *Heath: …commercial for PureFlix. A.R. White selling a lifetime membership *Noah: ...movie poster facial expressions. *Eli: ...depiction of atheists. Notes *Not to be confused with A Wish for Christmas (2016), starring Lacey Chabert of Christian Mingle infamy. Jokes *"And we're back for the breakdown, but before we start the movie, David A.R. White would like to have a word with us. He comes on, and I honestly expected him to go 'Eli, Heath, Noah… I know it's you guys—it's just you guys. Let's stop with the fucking charade here.' Tell you what, you do a lifetime membership to put podcast, and we'll do a lifetime membership to PureFlix, and we'll see who works out better. I wrote in my notes, 'We're offering a lifetime membership because everything is fine. It's actually better than fine. We're not desperately cash-strapped and hoping your grandma can't do math. We're doing great. Look how wide our eyes are. Don't answer now though! But uh… we're just saying you might not be able to find a thousand dollars soon, most of you. Act now, while supplies last… of zeroes and ones. We're a streaming service—this is a weird pitch.' Also, I was disturbed—I was slightly disturbed and then really disturbed when I found out why—when David A.R. White referred to buying a thousand dollar membership to their streaming service as a donation. [But why is that Noah? But why? Why can you call it a donation?] As I learned literally seconds before this record, PureFlix—this streaming service that's selling a religion—is a 501©(3)!?" (10:22) Interstitials *God Awful Movies Live in LA (8:30) *''Jew for Christmas'' (8:52) *"I wish my parents didn't believe in God." (1:02:55) Tropes *Atheist Converts to Christianity *Christians Don't Know How the World Works *Disappointing Christian Celebrity *Heroes are Villains, Villains are Heroes *Kitchen Table *Neglectful/Godless /Abusive Parent *Not Christian Enough *Success Is Bad Links *Episode on Audioboom *Episode on YouTube *Film on YouTube *IMDB Category:Episodes Category:Noah Lugeons Category:Heath Enwright Category:Eli Bosnick